Feminism India



Dear Pushover

By this point in your life, people have understood and taken note of the fact that they can manipulate you to do exactly what they want you to do. You listen to them and dance to their tune not because you want to, but because you think that’s the easy way out. You choose the path of least resistance because it’s the easy thing to do. But you HATE this path of least resistance that forces you to be someone you don’t want to be. That forces you to do things you wouldn’t normally do. That forces you to not do the things you’d normally want to do. Because you think that if you avoid a fight and do everything these perceived “important” people in your life want you to do, you will have peace.

But look at yourself. Look into your heart and answer this question – are you truly at peace?
Because dear pushover, what you don’t realise is that every time you think you’re avoiding a conflict, you’re letting them win. You’re reinforcing their conviction to treat you like their little puppet. They know you won’t put up a fight. They know they can push you till they get you to do exactly what they want.

“Don’t talk to that person we don’t like!”

“Call this person we like.”

“Study Math.”

“Don’t marry her.”

“Work extra hours.”

“Don’t be anti-social.”

“Come over for dinner.”

“Don’t like her posts on Facebook.”

But my dear pushover, once you do put up a fight, one fierce battle where you stand your ground, no one will dare to try and tell you how to live your life. No one will have the courage to look you in the eye and be unreasonably stubborn about the choices that are yours and only yours to make. That’ll be the end of your struggle with yourself and your values. That’ll be the very last time you’ll feel tied down by opinions and values that were never yours to begin with.

So dear pushover, have you considered taking back your life by standing up and fighting for what you believe in, this one time?

End your suffering, dear pushover. Liberate yourself.



Ankita Narayan

Edinburgh, Scotland | http://ankita.ink/

I'm a blogger, podcaster, wife and feminist. I record snippets from my life on my blog, tackle social issues on my podcast and work with my team of fellow feminists in this space.